Sunday, October 16, 2011

John Hazelton (1951-2011)

John was a man of many accomplishments. He was an athlete, logger, accountant, truck driver, family man, Scouter, and especially, to those of us here today, a good friend and fellow mountaineer. 

In his twelve years as a Mountaineer, John climbed over 100 mountains, both large and small.  He also helped with a similar number of field trips, work parties, planning sessions, first aid trainings, and other volunteer opportunities.

Personally, I stood on 35 summits with John.  Some, like our annual day trips to Unicorn (or, like Hardy and Jo before him, The Tooth) he did several times; while others, for example The North Sister, never allowed him a summit in spite of his three attempts.  (They do not call that one the “Ugly Sister” for nothing.)

Somethings could always be expected when out with John.  They are among the reasons we loved and will always remember him: fresh coffee in the morning, his snoring, his sense of humor, and of course his favorite sayings and the stories he told.

Many of his stories were relevant and emphasized an important point about climbing. 

His snoring, of course, was legendary, but then he is the only person that I have ever met who not only routinely gave fair warning to his tent mates, but offered them a set of ear plugs upon retiring for the night. 

He was an intelligent, well read, and witty individual; hence his humor was all over the place.  It ranged from being hilariously funny, to something that required a lot of analytic thought before you really got all of the warped, twisted, and more subtle meanings. 

Sometimes his jokes could be a bit barbed, but before you could get overly upset, that big teddy bear heart of his would come through and he would do something like wake you up at 2:00am for a glacier climb by handing you a fresh brewed cup ofhot coffee.  John himself had probably already been up for some time preparing ropes and gear for the climb—regardless of who was the designated climb leader.

I’m going to let others tell their stories, but I will mention just a few epic moments:

  +There were a few close calls when our training, experience, and quick thinking literally saved our lives.  John was a good man to have on the other end of a rope.
  +The day that we told our wives that we were going for a day climb up the north face of Chair and that we should be home by three o’clock. (And we were!  Yes, we were exactly twelve hours late.) 
  +Or the time he dropped his watch and we watched it fall 1500 feet straight down off the west face of Cruiser.  (There is a lot of air on that mountain.)
  +The bottle of wine he carried on the approach to Pershing because it was my birthday.
  +The time our party became separated on the descent from Sherpa.  After two hours of anxious waiting, John and I heard voices and footsteps approaching camp in the dark.  It turned out to be two women passing through en route to the trailhead after climbing Stuart. (I’ve never been quite so disappointed to have two beautiful women walk into my life.)
  +And of course, there was the day when he led the party down off the Middle Sister in atotal whiteout, and walked straight into camp.

This list goes on and on, but I had best stop before I am accused of trying to ‘outstory’ the great storyteller himself. But then, I suppose someone will need to take on the role.  Indeed, we will all need to step up a bit more often in the future in order to fill the huge hole that John leaves behind in our hearts and lives.  I ask every onehere to do something:  Leaders, lead one more climb next year than you did this year.  Volunteers, put one more day into trail maintenance, become a committee member, a first aid teacher, or perhaps a mentor; but do something to help.  It’s not the only way you can remember John of course, but it is, one way, that I know he would approve of.

John used to say:

    John was born in the east, and then lived in the Midwest before moving to the West Coast.  Here is one his favorite sayings from each of these locales:

Usually spoken on the way home from a climb after stopping for a hot burger and a cold beer. (Mid west drawl)
“I feel a lot more like I do now than when I came in here.”

John was a Red Green fan.  (West Coast accent)
“Most things can be fixed with just two items:  Duct tape to secure things that move, but shouldn’t; and WD-40 to fix things that should move, but don’t.”

When route finding became difficult and we needed to find an alternative. (With a strong New England accent)
“I don’t think you can get to there, from here.”

--Steve Townsend

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